Prophets and Predicates: A Guide to Mandatory Mumbling

As a member of Mandate Discord, you are required to understand the sacred art of prophesying and predicting. This section covers the basics of being a Prophet of the Discordant.

Section 1: The Art of Mumbling

Prophets are not just people who predict the future, but also those who predict the present. A good prophet must be able to see the obvious, like a chicken nugget in a sea of despair.

Here are some key principles to keep in mind:

1. Be loud, be clear, be obnoxious.
2. Use your best "I told you so" face.
3. Never, ever, under any circumstances, use a normal font.

Section 2: The Science of Prediction

Predictions are not just random guesses, but a carefully crafted art form. A good predictor must be able to separate the signal from the noise, like a kid separating the wheat from the chaff, but with more noise.

To become a master predictor, follow these steps:

1. Study the ancient art of reading the tarot cards... of a spreadsheet.
2. Practice, practice, practice, until your predictions are so on point, they're off the chain.
3. Never, ever, under any circumstances, use a normal calculator.